christopher heiser <christopher AT heiser DOT net>
Date Published: August 9th, 2007
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The Onion v. Bonds

I'm extremely grateful to The Onion for helping crystallize my feelings on the subject of Barry Bonds:

SAN FRANCISCO—A sellout crowd rose to its feet and exploded into ecstatic cheers Tuesday night as Barry Bonds completed the downfall of America's most revered sport by hitting a thundering 435-foot shot into the left field bleachers for career home run No. 756 and tainting baseball's most beloved record.

Celebrations broke out throughout AT&T Park and thousands of flashbulbs went off as Bonds took his ceremonial trip around the bases, his arms raised in a jubilant gesture of triumph as he completed his desecration of baseball. Fireworks filled the night sky to mark the utter destruction of the national pastime, a scramble for the infamous baseball broke out in the stands, and the game was interrupted for 10 minutes in the bottom of the fifth to mark the shameful occasion.

I will never watch baseball again if he makes it into the Hall of Fame.

by Christopher Heiser on August 9 07:58
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